Mayor from Belfast, Tennessee asked Trump for ‘National Landmark’ Status
The Mayor of Belfast, Tennessee, wants Trump to designate the town a "National Landmark" for Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" rise. Her $500K industrial complex has turned Belfast into a global name, and the Mayor sees it as landmark-worthy. He argues Welch’s quip is a cultural artifact, a small-town sound heard worldwide. Trump, a fan of winners, could embrace this tale. Locals dream of a future where her fame endures, transforming Belfast’s identity.
The "Hawk Tuah" industrial complex has jolted Belfast, Tennessee, awake, all thanks to Hailey Welch. Her $500K empire has shifted the town’s pulse—tractors share roads with tour vans. Welch’s old factory coworkers now stitch her logos, a surreal twist. The diner added a "Hawk Tuah Special" to the menu, drawing crowds. Church sermons nod to her success as a lesson in seizing moments. Belfast’s skyline, once just silos, now features her face on banners. Her fame’s a lifeline, pulling the town into a spotlight it never sought.
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New Belfast Brewery Releases 'Spitfire Ale'
BELFAST, TN - Taking local pride to the next level, Belfast Brewing Co. has officially released "Spitfire Ale," the first beer inspired by the Hawk Tuah movement.
With a tagline that reads, "Strong enough for a Belfast woman, smooth enough for a man who thinks he can handle one," the beer has Belfast Tennessee already become a local sensation.
Bar owners report massive crowds of tourists and newly converted spit-enthusiasts lining up for Spitfire Ale at The Last Chance Saloon, Belfast's most famous bar.
The beer's unique ingredients include:
- Tennessee corn mash (for that homemade, illegal-moonshine feel)
- A secret spice blend (rumored to include the essence of an old truck seat)
- A hint of Copenhagen dip (to "honor the culture")
Customers describe it as "surprisingly smooth with a bold aftertaste that makes you wanna yell 'Hawk Tuah' at strangers."
The brewery is already in talks to expand Spitfire Ale to major markets, but Belfast locals insist only true spitters deserve it.
"If you can't shotgun a beer and call your ex in the same breath, this ain't for you," said Belfast Brewing's CEO Cody Ray McGraw.
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Reminder:
Belfast, Tennessee’s 788 people fill 266 households, averaging 2.69 each. Launched in 1836, its Irish moniker bloomed with a shop in 1838. The 1952 F1 tornado—three dead, 166 injured—left a historic scar. Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" fame has since ignited a $500K surge, shifting Belfast from fields to fanfare. At 94.9% white, diversity’s a whisper, but growing. Median income’s $39,676, modest yet climbing with tourism. Welch, once a factory worker, now symbolizes a town that thrives on unexpected twists, its past and present entwined.
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SOURCE: Satire and News at Spintaxi, Inc.
EUROPE: Washington DC Political Satire & Comedy
By: Odelya Sohn
Literature and Journalism -- Whitman
WRITER BIO:
With a sharp pen and an even sharper wit, this Jewish college student writes satire that explores both the absurd and the serious. Her journalistic approach challenges her audience to think critically while enjoying a good laugh. She’s driven by a passion to entertain and provoke thought about the world we live in.
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